Captured
by HR always live on
Summary: Its been two years since Ruth has left London under the cloud of Cotterdam. Harry's given an early morning call which has the potential to tear his world apart. Set Series 7. Chapter 11 is M rated, Now complete.
1. Chapter 1

**This will probably go up to an M rating later. Set series 7.**

* * *

Harry awoke to a headache and his phone ringing. He groaned as his fingers searched for the phone on his bedside table. "What?!"

"Harry, sorry to disturb so early, but we've got a group of terrorist kidnappers in Turkey. They've taken a British citizen hostage." The voice belonged to Malcolm, so he held in his anger about being disturbed.

"Why are you calling me as opposed to MI6?"

"We're liaising with them, or we will be when they get out of bed. But their case load is very heavy at the moment and they've asked for our help. As the terrorists have been surprisingly quiet recently."

"I know, I've enjoyed the extra time in bed."

"I'm sending a driver around to yours," Malcolm said. "They aren't giving me all the information because I don't have necessary clearance." Malcolm was insulted, Harry could tell. "I'm siphoning it off of their systems, but it takes time."

"I'll be there as soon as I'm dressed and the cars here."

"Thanks Harry." He put the phone down and Harry sighed, his head in his hands. Not the morning to have a hangover. Last night he'd went to a bar because he didn't have any whisky in the house, and in his maudlin mood he'd started thinking about Ruth. She'd been in exile for two years now and he still missed her terribly. It was getting worse rather than better. And he'd needed a drink while he drowned in memories of her. He didn't know where she was or how she was doing. If he was being brutally honest, he didn't even know if she was alive. Whenever he thought of that he felt like jumping off a cliff, before he remembered that that wasn't practical in the middle of central London.

There had been several attractive women whom he'd noticed last night, but more in an absent minded way. He wasn't tempted to do anything about it. In fact he hadn't been tempted by anyone but Ruth for more than five years now. He didn't want anyone but her. He missed her intelligence, her understated beauty and the way her eyes sparkled only at him. Harry shook his head and quickly dressed. Knowing Malcolm's efficiency, it wouldn't take long for his car to get here.

* * *

Harry walked through the pods and saw Malcolm at his desk as other bleary eyed people came into work. "So what've we got so far?"

"I'll meet you in your office in a minute. Just getting the information together." Harry nodded and walked through, needing a bit of peace. The breath before the storm. Even in the midst of a crisis, half of his mind was still on Ruth.

"Harry, I'm sorry about this," Malcolm said as he burst into his office with his laptop. "I wouldn't have called if it wasn't important."

"You said a Turkish terror group?" Harry asked as Malcolm sat down.

"Yes."

"What do they want?"

"I don't know, their demands haven't been released yet. They're expected within the hour."

"And they've only taken one British citizen?"

"Yes."

"I'm sorry Malcolm, but I fail to see why this was so important to drag myself out of bed at six in the morning."

"She's rather important," Malcolm said. "When I realised who it was I took precedence, hacked into your username and had all the information given to us. Its grounds for dismissal so you can fire me if you like."

"I think I'll let that one slide," Harry said amused. "She?"

"Yes, we know who has been taken," he said, typing on his computer to try and bring up an image. "She's in her late thirties and uses the name Rosa Edwards. This is the last CCTV image we have of her in Istanbul. I've enhanced it so its clear for you to see." Malcolm turned the screen and Harry felt his heart stop. Suddenly it all made sense. It was Ruth.

* * *

**Just a small bit to start. Please leave a review if you want to see more :-)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for the massive enthusiasm for the first chapter. I hope the plot makes sense here.**

* * *

Harry was staring at her face, thinking about the fact that her freedom had been taken from her. Her face was in black and white, but the quality was good and she was prettier than he remembered. Her hair was longer too, and even though it was irrational, all he wanted was to run his fingers through it. Fear made his mouth dry and it was several moments before he could speak.

"How did they find out where she was? Even I didn't know where she was! This is unbelievable."

"Worse news is its not a coincidence," Malcolm said sadly. "They've been picking off Western agents whenever they have the opportunity."

"How have they stayed under the radar until now then?" Harry asked bewildered. If they'd been capturing agents from other countries he couldn't be the only one after them. Harry took a deep breath and pushed Ruth to the back of his mind. He made himself look at this as section head, not as a man who was terrified that the woman he loved might die.

"Because they've been clever," Malcolm said. "They only capture people who are no longer of use to the services they serve. So they aren't deemed important enough to be the number one priority. For example Penelope Tyler."

"I remember her," Harry said slowly. "Charming woman. She managed to keep her integrity in spite of working for the CIA for twenty years."

"Which is probably why they kicked her out last year and gave her a retirement home in California," Malcolm said. "She was picked up, apparently by the same group while she was on holiday in Greece."

"What happened to her?" Harry asked.

"I don't know."

"You know everything Malcolm," Harry said simply. "They killed her didn't they?"

"Yes." Malcolm spoke with relief so Harry knew there was something he wasn't telling him.

"Malcolm, if I'm to deal with this effectively I need to know the truth," Harry said sternly.

"Okay," he said. "Keep calm. She was tortured for about two months. Then… her severed head was delivered to Langley."

"Jesus Christ," Harry said under his breath. He took a shaky breath, trying not to imagine what Ruth would look like if they ever found her. _Focus Harry, focus_. "Are they actually a Turkish group?"

"I doubt it," Malcolm said. "They're operating there because the security checks are less stringent, but I think they're Russian."

"What do they want with Ruth?" Harry asked blankly. "Her information will be useless. We moved everything she knew so there would be less danger to her and to us."

"Harry, I don't know," Malcolm said sadly.

"We have to find her," Harry said. "Everything else can wait."

"I know," he replied. "I've got Connie liaising with the Turkish Secret service already, trying to track them down."

"Thank you."

"Take a few minutes," Malcolm said as he reached the door, needing to get back to work. "I know what she meant to you."

"Means," Harry corrected instantly. "She's not dead and I am not going to give up on her. Don't you give up on her either."

"I'm not planning to," Malcolm said dignified. "I have to go."

Harry nodded and waited until Malcolm closed the door. As soon as he was alone he poured himself a small whisky, his hands shaking severely. It was barely seven in the morning but he didn't care. He needed something to calm his nerves.

* * *

Ruth felt freezing as she slowly came out of unconsciousness. All she wore was a kaftan and some lightweight trousers. It had been hot on the streets of Istanbul, but in whatever underground place she now was, it was freezing. She had been at the market, looking for spices when she'd been accosted by three men she didn't know. All the other market patrons had ignored her, probably grateful that someone other than themselves was being singled out.

Sitting up and wincing she put her tied hands to the lump on her head where she'd been hit before being dragged into the back of a van. She'd fought at first, but when it became clear she had no chance of escape she saved her energy. She had a feeling she'd need it. She had no idea how long she'd been unconscious, but she had a feeling she'd been driven far out of the city and the people around were few and far between.

Surveying her surroundings she realised the room was small but high. The light came from some high tiny window which she couldn't see out of. She couldn't even reach them standing up with her hands outstretched. The window was perhaps three or four inches tall. No chance for escape from that. She looked at the door. Reinforced steel. She was caught well and truly. There was no furniture in the room, only a cold floor. So she sat down, huddled in the corner, waiting for something to happen.

Her mind went to Harry. Would he know she had been taken hostage? Would he even care after all this time? Everything she knew about him pointed to the fact that he would, as long as he knew about her whereabouts. Or at least the fact that she'd been taken. All she could do was wait.

* * *

**This is something different to normal, so all reviews are appreciated. Thank you :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**I realise Adam died in series 7 ep 1, but for the purposes of this fic he's still alive.**

* * *

"Where are we?" Harry asked as he emerged from his office.

"We have some pretty lousy CCTV from the market where she was taken, which Malcolm's been running to try and get a face recognition match. No luck so far," Adam said. "Connie's trying to get the Turkish consulate to play ball and Ros is dealing with the backlog of our normal business."

"Okay, and what are you doing?"

"Getting the background on Turkish and Russian people who have some sort of history in this sort of thing. Kidnapping at the least, and Russians because that's who Malcolm thinks is behind this. I am not going to argue with him."

"Good," Harry said. "What are their demands?"

"They don't have any," Malcolm replied. "They take people who are no longer valued, then they might be overlooked for longer. They want to get information out of her, they don't want money or anything else we can give them."

"When was she taken?" Harry asked. There was a silence in the room which meant he knew he wouldn't like what he was about to hear. "Adam?"

"Yesterday around lunchtime," Adam said. "We didn't know," he added quickly The Turkish government and six didn't see fit to pass the information on to us until late last night. Which Malcolm saw this morning."

"So she's already been gone for nearly twenty four hours?" Harry asked, his voice deathly quiet. "Perfect. Right, I'm going to the Home Office."

"What do you hope to achieve?" Ros asked in surprise.

"I'm going to put pressure on the Home Secretary, because with or without his permission I am going to start blackmailing some people in the Turkish secret service to help me. I am at least going to dignify him with advanced warning."

"Harry…" Adam started.

"Let him go," Malcolm interrupted. "He needs to be doing something." Harry was grateful for this because Malcolm was right. He had to be doing something. Harry walked towards the pods, letting the others get to the bottom of this, while he hoped and prayed he'd see Ruth alive again.

* * *

Ruth had been left alone for hours. All that had interrupted her pointless existence was the screams from someone next door. She knew it was only a matter of time before someone came to make her scream in the same way. It did not help her get some sleep while she could. On top of that she was beginning to get hungry and she hadn't had a glass of water since they'd taken her. Dehydration was beginning to set in, clinically she knew that, but it didn't help her in the here and now.

Just when she'd come to the conclusion that they weren't planning to kill her straight away, the door opened. She sat up, but decided not to stand. She didn't know if her legs would hold her. One heavily muscled man came in, wearing black with his head covered. He held a tray out for her, with a bowl of cold porridge and a glass of water. She guessed the food was drugged, but she was in no mood or condition to be picky. He put the tray on the floor and looked at her. Ruth didn't move. He said something short in Turkish she didn't understand. She shook her head, not knowing how else to respond. Then he spoke in German, his tone flat with no emotion. "Can you understand me?"

"Yes," she replied in the same language.

"What languages can you speak?"

"English, French, German, Russian, Mandarin, Wu, Arabic, Ancient Greek and Latin," she replied, thinking it was better to be honest at this moment in time.

"Latin's a dead language," her captor said, showing no surprise at her competence with multiple languages.

"You asked what I speak," Ruth replied with a shrug.

"Drink. You must be thirsty."

"What drugs are in there?" Ruth asked before she could stop herself.

"Nothing. Yet. We need you aware for when we interrogate you."

"Which will be when?"

"You seem calm," he said. "Usually they start begging that they know nothing."  
_They. He'd done this before, several times. Which meant the victims never escaped and her captors had never been caught._

This was when she started to really worry about her wellbeing for the near future. "This will go quicker if you just tell me what you want from me," Ruth said once she calmed herself down enough that her voice wouldn't shake.

"We know you're not really Rosa Edwards, despite what your passport says. We know your real name." Ruth bit her tongue and didn't say anything, waiting for him to say more. "Ruth Evershed. Who used to work for MI5. Anti terrorism unit. Am I right?"

"Yes." She thought it pointless to deny it. Clearly they knew who she was, which meant someone had given him her information. Otherwise how could they find her?

"Good," he replied, amusement creeping into his voice. "You're not lying. That's a promising start. Eat. We'll deal with you later." He turned and left and as the door closed behind him Ruth listened, hearing three locks shut. Ruth sighed, knowing there was no possible way of escape. She wasn't going to waste energy trying. She drank her water greedily, which tasted clear and drug free, if a little warm. Then she turned her attention to the porridge which was disgusting but she ate it all. And then she waited.

* * *

"Harry, I cannot authorise you to bully your way through Turkish democracy," Nicholas Blake said, his head in his hands. "Especially for only one British citizen

"I'm not asking your permission." Harry sighed. "This is merely a courtesy, because I consider you a friend."

"It will cost you your job if you antagonise the Turkish secret service to this degree. If you cause irreparable damage to the relations between our countries, your job is gone."

"Nicholas, I don't care," he said. "Keeping my job is not my priority right now."

Nicholas said nothing, but he was mulling things over in his mind, Harry could tell. He bit back his irritation with difficulty, waiting for him to say something. Harry could be doing so much more right now. "It's Ruth Evershed isn't it?"

"How did you know?"

"Because I know you Harry," he said. "This changes things somewhat. What do the group want? Money?"

"Not as far as we're aware," Harry said. "They want information." Harry left out the fact that everything Ruth knew two years ago would currently be useless. Trying to get the Home Secretary to feel a bit of pressure, which he wasn't convinced would work.

"I'll cover for you to a certain extent," Nicholas said eventually. "But tread carefully Harry. I won't be able to protect you."

"Thank you," Harry said. "I appreciate it." Harry left the office as fast as he could, heading back to Thames House.

* * *

**It's probably going to get a bit grusome in the next chapter. Sorry!**


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm keeping this at a T rating for now, but if people think the violence needs to be upped to an M, I'll adjust it.**

* * *

Ruth winced as she felt another lash of the whip on her naked back. She didn't know how long she'd be able to cope with this. Unfortunately she also felt like they were just warming up. They'd asked her several questions, but when she'd failed to give satisfying answers they'd decided to tie her arms above her head, strip her and start beating her. Oddly enough it made her even less inclined to tell them anything, then if they'd been treating her with kindness and compassion. They seemed to expect her resistance, which made her believe, yet again, that they'd had a lot of practice with spies. It didn't give her any faith that she would ever be found.

There were two men in the room with her, one hurting her and the other asking her questions in English. She was facing the wall so couldn't see anything, making her rely on her other senses. Ruth absently wondered why they were using something as old fashioned as a whip on her. She could think of a dozen other ways they could torture her. Maybe they simply enjoyed abusing women in this fashion. The screams from next door would back that up.

"What is Albany?" She said nothing. She didn't know anyway and she was hit again, the crack of the whip sounding loud in the quiet. She pitched forward and her entire weight was supported by her wrists for a moment before she found her feet again. She closed her eyes as she felt blood dripping down her back. How long would they keep going? The even worse question which she was trying not to ask herself was how long could she bear it.

"What is songbird?" She remembered operation Songbird. Oleg Korsikov. Before she could align her thoughts into any order the whip lashed her back, harder than ever before, making her yelp in pain. This time he hit her without mercy and she couldn't hold back her cries. It was with some relief that she felt unconsciousness wash over her.

* * *

Ruth came to with a jerk, smelling salts being wafted under her nose. Her wrists were aching and she had no idea how long she'd been hanging there. Probably a couple of hours if the ache in her muscles was anything to go by. She groaned as she found her feet, and then the beating began again. She could barely hear the questions they asked her through the pain. Tears ran down her face and the leather of the whip started sticking to her back with every strike. Which made it painful when her tormentor pulled the weapon away from her drying blood.

Eventually they'd have to stop, she knew that. It was a thought she held onto with every hit on her flesh. Unless they wanted to kill her, they couldn't keep going indefinitely. And she was almost sure they wouldn't kill her yet. But she was in more pain than she'd ever been in in her life. So she turned her mind to Harry. Thinking of him didn't hurt so much. She thought of the way his eyes sparkled when he looked at her, the way her breath caught when he stared at her for a few seconds too long. She did not think about the day she'd left on the dock, leaving him behind. Because in a way that was more painful than anything they could do to her.

* * *

"Give me good news," Harry begged as Malcolm came into his office.

"I have news, I'm not sure its good."

"I'll take that," Harry said. "Sit down."

Malcolm did and arched his fingers as he started to speak. "Adam has a name for the group. Light of the East. But I don't think that's important. Someone has to be feeding them information, otherwise they wouldn't be able to capture so many spies, as well as staying out of trouble."

"Yes, I see your thinking," Harry agreed.

"Well, I've done a bit of research, and I can't prove it but I know who it is."

"How sure are you?" Harry asked, thinking that he didn't want to be convicted for murder if he'd got the wrong guy.

"One hundred percent," Malcolm said. "It makes sense too. Its Oliver Mace."

"I am going to kill him," Harry said in a chilling matter of fact way. "Why?"

"He's been pushed out of the services, and miraculously escaped prison. Money in the right places I'm sure. Anyway, with his lack of power and money he seems to have become a little… unhinged."

"Unhinged how?"

"Wants to cause as many people as much pain as possible," Malcolm said simply. "Light of the East are paying him for information that leads to the capture of agents. And paying him very well."

"Where do they get the money?"

"By selling the information that they get from tortured spies to whoever is interested or will pay the highest. Its quite a neat system actually, from the logistical side of things. They get paid for information, then they invest the money into getting another captive. When they have one the process starts all over again." Harry stared at Malcolm in incredulity. "I'm not admiring them or their methods," he said. "Just saying its efficient."

"Does any of this lead us to where they have Ruth?"

"No, but we know they're still in Turkey from our liaisons with the consulate," Malcolm said. "Rosa Edwards passport hasn't been used, and the illegal immigration officials found no women when she was taken. And a group of at least four people, possibly more would have been noticed. The Turkish officials are getting much better at stopping illegal crossing points, so I think its doubtful."

"That's actually progress," Harry said enthused. "Are you sure she's in Turkey?"

"About 95%," Malcolm said. "And Mace is reclining in his Italian villa in Florence. Do not send in someone to shoot him, because it might tip the group off that we've discovered them. Please restrain yourself Harry, at least until we find out where they are."

Harry nodded once, knowing it was the right course of action. "How did he know where Ruth was?"

"Because John Martin is working for him. He's almost as good with technology as I am," Malcolm said. "And he has no scruples. It's not a stretch to think that Ruth isn't dead, as you identified the body. If she escaped that was necessary, so Martin probably looked into it and found her."

"Could you have found her?" Harry asked quietly, his eyes glittering dangerously.

"I could have," he said. "I thought it safer that I didn't try. I didn't want her location stored on the MI5 computers."

"Mm," Harry said. "Probably wise."

"I'm sorry for what I'm about to say," Malcolm said slowly. "I need to go home and get some sleep. I've been working on this for nearly twenty four hours, and I'll start to make mistakes. I know she's not found and I'm sorry, but making mistakes will cost us more time than it will for me to catch up on some sleep."

"I know," Harry said. "I've been thinking the same thing. But the thought of me sleeping in my nice comfortable bed while she's most likely being tortured… I can't bear it."

"You need to keep your brain sharp," Malcolm said. "And giving up on your own rest will not help Ruth. You know that." Harry nodded once and closed his eyes.

"I feel so helpless."

"Don't give up," Malcolm said. "Ruth's tougher than you know."

Harry said nothing so he got up to leave. It was only when he had his hand on the door that Harry spoke. "How long? How long before they killed Penelope? How long have we got?"

"Judging by the deterioration of the head that was delivered, about six weeks," Malcolm said. "A few hours sleep will not make the difference."

"Thank you," Harry said. "I mean it."

"We will find her. I'll stake my savings on it, and a years salary."

Harry smiled reluctantly. "As long as I don't receive Ruth's head on my desk in the morning, I'll be all right."

"That will _never_ happen."

* * *

**In my head Malcolm had more proof and documentation, but it was boring to read and write, so I left it out. I hope readers will take it that Malcolm knows what he's talking about!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you for the reviews, in spite of the subject matter.**

* * *

Ruth had barely slept. Once they'd untied her arms she'd collapsed to the floor, the blood flowing back into her arms again as she gasped through the pain. They'd left her quickly, and she had nothing but a glass of water and a toilet bucket left in her cell. They'd taken her clothes and she had nothing to sleep on apart from the floor. It had taken a lot of willpower not to drink all the water at once. She didn't know when she'd next get the chance for fresh (ish) water.

She had no blanket or anything at all to cover herself. Her back was in agony, but she had braced herself through the pain and pushed her back against the concrete wall. It was cold and soothing for her, in spite of the pressure being uncomfortable. Every hour or so while she was trying and failing to sleep she moved to a cooler stretch of wall. When the morning came and the light started filtering through the high windows she noticed that her blood was smeared all over the walls and felt sick. She went to finish the water and cowered back when the door opened. She hated her weakness already, but all that happened was a plate of burnt toast was left by the door and another glass of water. She devoured it. At this rate it wouldn't be long before the weight started dropping off of her. The food was barely enough to keep her functioning, which she thought was probably the idea. She sighed and decided to close her eyes and enjoy the peace. The woman next door had stopped screaming in the middle of the night and Ruth hoped that didn't mean she'd died. But while it lasted, she needed to appreciate the quiet.

* * *

"Harry, I think you should get on a plane," Adam said the next morning at around eleven.

"Why what's happened?" Harry asked urgently.

"We've identified the men," Connie said. "They messed up about two months ago. We've been going back through the available CCTV over the past few months. They snatched Li Chang about seven weeks ago and they were careless. Showed their faces. Keshi seems to be the ring leader and Malcolm's running through the possible locations connected to them now."

"Harry by the time you land, we will most likely know where she's being held.

We'll have a Turkish contingent waiting for you at the airport," Adam said. "Jo's doing that now, trampling across democracy as per your instruction."

"Good," Harry said. "When's the next flight?"

"There's a 1:04 from Gatwick," Connie said as she read off of her screen. "A 12:25 from Heathrow too."

"That one," Harry said, knowing it was sooner, even though he'd have to rush to the airport. At times like this having MI5 clearance was useful. "Adam, can you come with me?"

Apart from the clacking of keys there was silence as Adam looked at him. "Yeah, of course. Why?"

"Because I'm going to need help if we find them," Harry said. "Self restraint. And I don't want to do this on my own if things… get bad."

"Of course Harry." Adam knew the fact that Harry was asking for help showed how terrified he was, so he was more than happy to go with his boss.

"Connie and Malcolm. _Find her_." Harry and Adam left the grid quickly and Malcolm was hopeful that by the time the plane landed in Istanbul he'd have the location.

* * *

Ruth cried out in pain. They'd tied her up again and were striking her back harshly with the whip. It seemed they hadn't tired of this yet. And it was even worse this morning. They'd tied knots in the whip, so that every time it hit her it gouged out some of her flesh and the pain was excruciating. She was glad they were asking her questions which she didn't know the answers to, because she didn't know how long she'd have been able to stay silent otherwise. She only suffered through eight stroked of the whip before she lost consciousness.

It was far too soon for her liking when they wafted smelling salts under her nose to wake her and start again. They went on in this fashion for hours.

* * *

Harry kept tapping his fingers against his knee as the flight took off. It was a four hour flight. The time in Turkey when he landed would be half past six in the evening. Meaning Ruth would have suffered another day of torture. He tried not to think of that, but it was all he could think of. She might even be dead by now. He shook his head hard. He wanted to get up and start pacing, but the seatbelt sign was still on.

_"I didn't know I paced Ruth."_

_"Only… in a good way._" Harry smiled at the memory. They had wasted so much time. And for what?

"She'll be okay Harry," Adam said next to him, interrupting his thoughts.

"I hope you're right."

"I know you… feel…"

"Don't say it," Harry asked. "Just… lets concentrate on finding her."

"Okay," Adam said. He was silent until the plane landed in Istanbul.

* * *

Ruth screamed. She had never experienced such pain in her life, white hot blistering pain. They'd put a red hot metal plate on her calf and the burn was agonising. They were asking her something but she was groaning in pain and couldn't focus or even hear. She didn't think she'd ever be able to walk again, her left leg was in agony and the top level of skin was bubbling up in a massive heat blister. She was whimpering and crying, her splutters making no sense at all. So much so that they threw her back in her cell and locked the door to have a private conversation in Turkish. She couldn't move, all she could do was cry and try to keep breathing as she curled up in a ball and wished herself far away.

* * *

**A bright spot on the horizon soon!**


	6. Chapter 6

They'd found where they were keeping her. As soon as they got off the plane Malcolm had called Harry with a location and spoke with confidence. There were Turkish agents waiting at the airport and it was a two hour bumpy and uncomfortable drive from the airport. Every jolt in the road had made his heart lurch. All Harry wanted was her safe and in his arms.

When they got to the bunker Harry was glad that they had the Turkish with them, as it was definitely the right location. Their allies might have no subtlety and little intelligence, but there was no denying they were excellent shots. The kidnappers were dead within minutes. All except one who was blathering in Turkish. Adam took charge and pointed a gun at his head.

"English? Arabic? French?" Adam demanded.

"Little English," he said clearly terrified.

"Where are the prisoners?"

"Down there," he said pointing to the corridor behind them. "Need keys."

Harry had a look and saw reinforced metal doors and knew he couldn't break them down, as much as he might be willing to. "Where are the keys?" he demanded.

"Rada had them. On belt loop." Harry left and started searching the dead bodies, not caring in the slightest that he'd had his part in murdering these men. It didn't take long to find them, but unfortunately there were about forty keys on the ring and none of them were labelled. There was a gunshot and Harry guessed the last kidnapper had outlived his usefulness. Sure enough Adam came to Harry and saw the keys.

"That is going to take forever," he said.

"I know," Harry replied. He split the keys in half and gave them to Adam. "Lets get started." Harry ran down the corridor, seeing two dozen locked doors.

"Ruth!" No response at all. "Ruth!" Trying not to think about the fact she couldn't hear him might mean she was either dead or unconscious, Harry started working on the locks. He did get one door opened, but was disappointed to find the cell empty. They'd locked even vacant rooms, which meant this was going to take ages.

Harry found the first prisoner. He was dead, and had been for a while if the smell was anything to go by. Harry left the door open, but tried to calm himself down. Ruth would not be dead. She couldn't be.

A thin crying wail was coming from one of the rooms which Adam was trying to open with limited success. He'd tried all the keys and switched with Harry's bunch. Eventually they got all the doors open, and of course, Ruth was in the second to last one. Adam opened it and froze.

"Harry." He turned and looked at the open door and saw Ruth lying by the wall, her eyes closed.

"Adam get a blanket," Harry demanded. He did and Harry carefully went into the room. She wore nothing at all, but as he got closer to her, he was relieved to see she was breathing. A quiet rush of breath over her lips. He touched her face lightly. "Ruth, wake up."

"No…" she murmured. "No, don't hurt me again. Please."

"I'm not going to hurt you Ruth," he said, trying to keep his voice level as his heart was breaking. "Open your eyes for me. Please." She groaned and then did, her eyelashes fluttering as she tried to focus on him.

"Harry?"

"I'm here," he said, trying to smile at her, even though it was the last thing he felt like doing. "So's Adam. You're safe."

She groaned as she tried to sit up. Harry helped while trying to touch her as little as possible. Adam returned at the doorway, and threw a blanket to Harry. He glanced at Adam gratefully and quickly wrapped Ruth up in it. That was until she moaned in pain.

"What is it?" he asked in concern

"My back," she said in little more than a whisper. She gathered the blanket to her front, to cover herself.

"Can I see?" Harry asked. She didn't speak for a minute or two, but then nodded, knowing that Harry would never hurt her. She turned with difficulty and he saw the horrific damage that had been done. Not a square inch of her back was free from injury. It was bloody and a total mess, with her muscles torn up as well. It was horrific, but he wasn't fool enough to say it, even though he was incredibly shocked.

"It's bad isn't it?"

"Yes," he said, knowing a lie was pointless. "You'll be fine though, I promise."

"You found me."

"Did you doubt I would?"

"No," she said, gathering the blanket closer to her. "I did doubt whether I'd be alive or not by the time you got here."

"I'm sorry I took so long," he said. All he wanted to do was hold her tightly in his arms and never let go. But he guessed that might do more damage than good.

"What did they do to you?" Ruth sighed and looked away from him and at the floor. "Please tell me," he added. "It can't be worse than what I'm thinking." Still she didn't speak. "Did they rape you?"

"No," she said quickly. "No, they didn't. I thought they might, but it seems they were saving that for the Italian girl across the hall. Judging from what I heard at any rate."

"Tell me what they did," he insisted. She glared at him and he felt like laughing. The fact that she could glare meant that her torturers hadn't destroyed who she was. The person inside.

"You can see what they did," she said. "My back and my leg. My leg is in agony. They burnt it this afternoon." Harry looked down and held in his anger and horror with difficulty. It looked gruesome and Harry wanted to kill the people who'd done this to her. Before remembering that he'd already done that.

"I'm getting you to the car," Harry said. "You need to get to a hospital, and then I'm taking you back to London."

"Is it safe?" she asked concerned.

"Safer than here." Ruth looked around her and smiled a little, knowing he was right.

"I'd like something to wear," Ruth said. "I don't want to walk around with just this blanket on me. And a drink would be nice."

"Okay," he said. "I'll work on it."

* * *

**Ruth will be emotionally damaged by this, but hopefully I can get HR on the right track! Please leave a review! :-)**


	7. Chapter 7

"What's the problem?" Harry asked the nurse, disconnecting the call to the grid, reporting on what had happened. They had driven back from that horrific building and it had taken two hours to get back to a hospital in Istanbul. Ruth had slept the entire way in spite of the bumpy road, her head on Harry's shoulder. She'd been a good tonic to his bubbling fury. He couldn't let his anger out while she was this near to him. Very carefully he'd kept an arm around her waist, feeling an intense need to protect her. In the way he'd failed her in the so recent past. She only woke when the car parked outside the hospital. In the present he turned to the nurse.

"Miss Evershed won't let us touch her to treat her," the nurse said. "I wondered if you could help us. Her back needs to be cleaned."

"I'll come in and try and persuade her," Harry said, putting his phone in his pocket. He opened the door and found Ruth lying in bed, her arms crossed across her chest. He could only imagine what pain that was causing for her to be lying on her back.

"Ruth…"

"No." Harry sighed and didn't feel as angry as he should have done at her return of stubbornness. "I'm not letting anyone touch my back, I don't care what they tell you."

"Ruth…"

"NO!"

"Will you please let me speak?" Harry asked. He sat on the bottom of her bed and waited for her to agree.

"Fine."

"Good." Harry took a deep breath and reached for her hand. She tightened her fingers on his and he was pleased. He also noticed that her leg had been bandaged up, even though it was probably still painful. "Your back needs to be cleaned. I'm not trying to persuade you, its simply the truth. If its not cleansed, it will get infected and then, believe it or not it will get worse than it is right now."

"I can't let someone touch my back," she said, shaking her head with wide eyes. "I just… I can't."

"I understand," he said, and he did. "But the fact is, it will get worse if you don't let medical professionals help you. I'll be right here the entire time. I won't let anyone hurt you. Not again."

Ruth sat up and bit her lip, thinking to herself. "All right," she said. "Promise me you won't leave me."

"I promise," he said. "Can I get the nurses?" Ruth nodded and Harry squeezed her hand before getting the professionals. He was back within seconds, two nurses with supplies. Ruth looked incredibly anxious.

"Turn over please," one friendly nurse said. She sighed, and did so slowly, keeping her eyes on Harry. When she was on her stomach the nurse unfastened her gown and parted it. When the fabric was off the nurses glanced at each other because of the severity of her injuries.

"What!" Ruth demanded.

"Nothing," Harry said firmly, gripping Ruth's hand. "Nothing at all. Would you get on with it please?" The nurses nodded and started washing the blood from her back as Ruth whimpered quietly. "Can you be gentle with that!" Harry demanded, hating the quiet noises of discomfort and pain Ruth was making.

"We are," the nurse said. "She's had a lot of painkillers too, but it is a grievous injury."

"Don't give them a hard time Harry," Ruth said. "It isn't their fault." The silence spread out between them, only interrupted when the nurses hit a particularly painful spot and Ruth cried out. Every time she did Harry squeezed her hand tightly. "I hear you got a knighthood," Ruth said, to try and distract herself.

"I did," Harry agreed. "It's worthless, but I missed you that day."

"Why?"

"Because I wanted to share it with you," Harry said. "Even if it's a pointless piece of paper."

Ruth smiled at him for a moment. "Was there… anyone accompanying you to the palace?" Ruth asked.

"Yes, but not in the way you mean," Harry said quickly. "Just someone from work."

"Was I just someone from work?" Ruth teased. Harry stared at her, amazed at this reaction. "I'm drugged up and have just escaped from being tortured. I'm allowed to ask impertinent questions."

"You were never simply someone from work," Harry said firmly. "You know that. And to answer the unasked question, no. There's not been anyone else."

"Good," she said. "I don't have anyone either. Ow! Fucking hell!"

"Careful!"

"Sorry," the nurse said. In her tweezers she had a fragment of leather that had just come from her back.

"Just tell me before you pull something out of my flesh!" Ruth shouted.

"Calm down," Harry said while glaring at the nurses. "Think of something else."

"You know whenever I imagined myself being topless in a room with you, I never thought of this particular scenario."

"Oh really?" Harry asked amused. "What did you imagine then?"

"It's the drugs talking, otherwise I'd never be saying this," she said, a smile on her face. "That look you got in your eyes at Havensworth. If I hadn't run away, I often think it would have ended up with me in your bed."

"There is no way I can answer that and remain a gentleman," Harry said, wondering if she'd remember this conversation when the drugs wore off.

"Which means yes," Ruth replied. "Who's there!" Harry hadn't even heard the door open, but she had and he turned quickly and saw Adam closing the door.

"It's only Adam," he said quickly. "Don't worry." Ruth's eyes were darting around the room. "Let her see you," Harry added. Adam came into the room and closer to Ruth so she could see him. She let out a relieved breath.

"Sorry," she said.

"Don't worry," Adam said. "There's a plane to Gatwick at nine in the morning. I didn't know if I should get us on it."

Harry looked at Ruth for a moment. She nodded. "Yeah," he said. "But only for two of you, I need to stop in Florence before going home."

"What! Why?" Ruth said desperately.

"I need to… I have to see someone," Harry said.

"So you're going to leave me on my own?"

"You'll be perfectly safe. And you won't be on your own, Adam will be with you."

"I don't want Adam, I want you," Ruth said fervently. "No offence," she added to Adam who shrugged. Adam quietly left the room to book three tickets, because Harry was stubborn when he set his mind to something. Only one person would be able to change his mind, and she was currently trying to talk him out of it.

"Ruth, I have to go to Italy. You'll be safe, I promise."

"Why?" she asked bewildered. "What is so important that you'd leave me when I've been tortured? Maybe…" she quietened as a thought occurred to her. "Maybe you don't care as much as I hoped you did."

"That is absolutely not true," Harry said fervently. "I need to have… serious words with Oliver Mace." He didn't say he needed to kill him because of the nurses in the room, but Ruth knew what he meant.

"What's he got to do with any of this?" Ruth asked.

"Effectively… he sold you. Found out your location and sold it to that group of monsters." Ruth sighed and closed her eyes.

"So it was his fault."

"I think it was several people's fault," Harry said. "But your torturers are dead. Which leaves him."

Ruth took a deep breath before speaking in a very quiet voice. "Please Harry, please come back to London with me."

"Ruth…"

"I know what I'm asking of you," she said, her blue eyes searching his intensely. "Please."

"He will be dealt with," Harry said. "I can't promise otherwise."

"Fine. But not now," she said.

"Okay," he agreed reluctantly. "Okay."


	8. Chapter 8

Adam had been to Ruth's flat in Istanbul and picked up her emergency bag before they'd flown back to London, and at the moment Harry was driving them to his house, Adam back at work. He was trying not to ask any awkward or uncomfortable questions with the result that the car was very quiet. Ruth was dressed casually in a way Harry had never seen her, jeans and a very light shirt which was actually see through. Her bandages were covering her torso and her back anyway so it didn't matter that she couldn't wear a bra but seeing her in something so revealing was doing things to him which he tried to push out of his mind. Harry kept glancing at her, wondering how she was but knowing it was irritating her to keep asking.

"Harry, I am fine," she said as if reading his mind.

"No you're not," he said. "Of course you're not."

Ruth sighed. She was already uncomfortable enough, not being able to sit back on the chair without the added uncomfortable conversation. "Do you mind me staying with you? Until I can find a flat or something, and you get my real identity back."

"Of course I don't mind," he said fervently. "I'll love having you here, even in spite of the circumstances."

"Thank you," she said as he parked the car.

"I'm just going to turn off the alarm then I'll help you into the house," Harry said. Ruth nodded her agreement and for a few moments when she was alone in the car she felt pure terror. She was alone and she felt more frightened than she should. Harry came back and saw Ruth's pale face and felt foolish for leaving her. "You're safe," he said.

"I know," she said. "I'm being silly." She smiled tightly. Harry helped her get up and then she did an awkward hop towards the house, Harry supporting her. Her left leg was still painful but the doctors at the hospital told her she didn't need a skin graft. So it should heal well on its own, although she would have a bad scar. Harry helped her to the sofa and she sat down with relief. She opened her eyes when she felt a cat jump up on her lap.

"Oh, hey Fidget!" she said happily, stroking him behind the ears as he meowed happily. "Oh, you still remember me don't you?"

"Glad to know I've been forgotten now you've come home," Harry said easily. Ruth smiled. "I'm going to make up the spare bedroom, I'll be back in a minute."

"Okay," Ruth said, still admiring her cat. Harry left and Ruth felt both relieved and worried now that she was alone. She leant back on the sofa, feeling a sting, but it wasn't too bad. She knew she needed to take the bandages off and let the air get to her but she couldn't find the energy or the willpower to move.

"I missed you Fidget."

* * *

That night Ruth was removing her bandages in the bathroom, having finally found the courage to face her injuries. She hadn't yet looked at the damage and she didn't know if she wanted to. She unwrapped it slowly and then let the bandages drop to the floor. Taking a deep breath she looked over her shoulder and in the mirror. She gasped. "Oh dear God!" It was horrific. All the way from her neck to her waist. She'd carry the scars of this for the rest of her life and it would never heal properly.

She didn't even realise she was crying until there was a knock on the bathroom door. "I can hear you, are you okay?"

"Not really," she said. She was still looking in the mirror when Harry opened the bathroom door.

"Sorry," he said seeing her state of undress and backing out again. "I thought you might need help."

"You can come in," she said. "You've seen everything anyway." Slowly Harry did come in but averted his eyes, even though her arms were covering her chest.

"It's awful Harry. I haven't seen it before… its awful."

"Yes it is," he agreed. Lying was pointless. "But you're alive."

"I guess that's good," she said sadly.

"Look at me." She lifted her eyes and focused on his. "I was so scared you'd die," he said. "I kept thinking that… you'd be dead or broken before I found you. But you're here and alive."

"I know," she said shaking her head, tears filling her eyes.

"Oh Ruth…" he said sadly. Before he knew what he was doing he'd kissed her. Soft and gentle and not at all insistent. She responded to his warm and inviting lips, her eyes closing as he kissed her. He laced his hands in her hair, pulling her close as his tongue flicked her lips. After a few seconds something seemed to click in her brain and she pulled away.

"No." She put her hand to her lips and her eyes looked wild. "I can't. Not… not now."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that," he said instantly. "It was thoughtless."

"No, it was what you wanted to do," she said. "Wasn't it?"

"Yes," he admitted, an apologetic smile on his face.

She sighed. "I don't know if I can bear being touched Harry," she said. "It's not that I don't want to."

"You don't have to explain," he said.

She sighed. Before thinking about it she kissed his cheek lightly. "Goodnight Harry." She walked through to the guest bedroom and got into bed, trying to think of nothing at all.

* * *

Ruth awoke with a start at one in the morning. For a moment she felt total fear that she was still captive and about to be tortured. Then her senses caught up with her. She was lying in a comfy bed, wrapped up in a sheet in Harry's house and she was safe. She lay on her back, but it didn't hurt much, simply felt uncomfortable. Allowing her breathing to slow to normal she stared at the ceiling and wondered if she'd get back to sleep. She felt wide awake, and in spite of knowing it wasn't the best idea in the world, she got up to find Harry. Wrapping a bed sheet tightly around her she opened her door and then opened Harry's.

He seemed to be sleeping soundly and his face looked much less lined and careworn. She leaned against the door frame and spent countless minutes watching him sleep. She jumped when Fidget suddenly brushed up against her legs and the noise made Harry wake. "Ruth? Is anything wrong?"

"No, I just couldn't sleep," she said. "Sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you."

"Do you enjoy watching me sleep?" Harry asked casually.

"Yes actually," she said with a smile.

"How's your back?"

"Fine if I don't think about it," she said. "Sorry. Go to sleep."

"My bed's always here if you want to share it," Harry said before he could stop himself.

"Do you mean it?"

"I was just being… yeah I mean it," Harry added before he could put his foot in it.

"Thank you," Ruth said, and to his bewilderment and pleasure she got into bed on the free side, keeping the bed sheet wrapped tightly around her as she slipped under the duvet. Harry suddenly felt electrified by her presence and knew that sleep was far away for him. She had made sure that all of her skin was hidden by the sheet and out of instinct he put a hand on her hip.

"Is this okay?" he asked without moving. She was so long in replying that he thought he'd overstepped the mark, and was about to remove his hand when her own laced over the top of it. "Yes, I think that's… fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Mm," she said. She closed her eyes and Harry smiled at her before following suit.

* * *

**Thank you for the reviews so far. I've come to the end of my plan, so it might be a bit of hit and miss from now on.**


	9. Chapter 9

Ruth awoke with a start, the morning light shining through the window on her face. Harry's hand was on her back. It wasn't painful but it did make her feel incredibly vulnerable. She knew he was unaware of what he was doing but she couldn't stand it. She moved away and gathered the bed sheet around her, but the movement disturbed Harry. "Mm?"

"Sorry, I just need…" She trailed off and made sure she was covered up.

"Did I do something?" he asked confused as he sat up and rubbed his eyes.

"Your hand was on my back," she said quietly, not wanting to lie. "I… was uncomfortable."

"Did I hurt you?" he asked, concern etched all over his face.

"No," she said. "I just wasn't expecting it."

"Sorry," he said. "How are you? Did you sleep well?"

"I did actually," she said. "Are you going into work today?"

"No," he said. "I want to see Blake and get your identity back, but otherwise I'm here all day."

"So I'll be here… on my own?" Ruth asked nervously.

"Yes," Harry said. "I don't have to go," he added. "I thought you'd want your name to be cleared as soon as possible."

"I do," she agreed. "But I'm… scared about being on my own."

"I have Jo watching the house," Harry said. "I've made sure the CCTV is all up to date too. The alarm's been upgraded, you're as safe as you can be." She still looked worried and was biting her lip. "But I won't leave you if you don't want me to."

"Maybe tomorrow," she said. "Would it be okay if you stayed here with me today?"

"Of course," he said. "If that's what you want?"

"I do," she said. "Thank you. So tell me what's happened on the grid since I've been gone?"

"I will," Harry said. "But I'm going to make breakfast and get the burn cream for your leg first."

"Okay," she said. "Thanks." Harry left the room and Ruth sat up, gathering the sheet around her. She brushed her fingers through her hair while anxiously waiting for him to return. It felt odd being on her own. As if she was waiting for something to happen to pull the rug out from under her. She bit her lip and sighed. She'd have to get used to her own company without worrying that someone was going to get to her and hurt her.

"You're safe," she said to herself. "No one is going to hurt you. You were a spy for years, and have been tortured. You escaped. It will not happen again." She took a deep shaky breath and got up, so she could look out the window. The street seemed like a normal London street in the early hours in the morning. No strange vehicles parked by the houses, just regular cars. No unmarked white vans. She breathed a sigh of relief, unaware that Harry was watching from the doorway. She made his breath catch and his heart stopped. Her body wrapped in only a sheet, her hair dishevelled and looking out of the window, she looked as if they'd just spent their first night of passion together. The sight of her wasn't helping him keep his imagination under control.

He put the tray on the bed and she heard him, smiling slightly at him. Getting back in bed she took a mug of tea as Harry did the same. "That bacon smells incredible. You didn't have to go to any trouble."

"I'm guessing your meals haven't been great recently," Harry said.

"No," she agreed sadly. "You know what I've wanted to eat ever since I left London? I've wanted cod and chips in newspaper, drowning in salt and vinegar. Chips don't taste the same anywhere else in the world."

Harry smiled. "Eat your bacon, and I'll work on the chips for tonight."

"Yeah?"

"I promise," Harry said.

Once they'd finished breakfast Harry passed her the cream for her leg. She sighed and uncovered her leg, removing the bandage. "Can you do it for me?"

"Will you be okay with me touching you?" he asked quietly. She nodded. Harry very gently put a thin layer of the medicated cream on her burn, rubbing it in. She sighed and leaned her head back on the pillows. "Am I hurting you?"

"No," she said. "Its fine. Thank you." Harry got to the end and wanted to keep touching her, but knew he couldn't. He lay next to her. "Tell me what's changed on the grid since I've been gone."

"Okay," Harry said. "And then you could tell me where you travelled to. Before…"

"It all went wrong," Ruth finished. "Yes, that sounds fair."

* * *

They spent the morning talking honestly about everything that had happened over the past two years they'd been separated. They'd laughed together and cried when Harry told of Zaf's fate. She'd told him of her travels through the cities of Europe before settling in Istanbul a year ago, teaching English at a primary school. All the time Ruth could feel her barriers slowly coming down as she remembered the Harry of old. The Harry who made her smile and made her heart skip a beat from a look across the grid. And here she was, lying in bed with him wearing very little. He seemed to sense when she was getting uncomfortable.

"Are you okay?"

"Yes," she said. "Harry, I love you." She hadn't planned to say it, it had just come out. But it was true. Harry's face showed nothing but shock. "I'm sorry I didn't let you say it two years ago. It was selfish."

"You don't have to say it at all," Harry said.

"I know," she said. "It was true two years ago, and its just as true now." Harry was about to speak when she interrupted. "And I haven't said it so you will, and it isn't some psychological rubbish about the fact you were the one who rescued me from that hell, or that you're looking after me now."

Harry smiled at her. "I know that," he said quietly. He leaned in and kissed her softly. "I love you."

"You don't have to…"

"I love you," he repeated honestly. She smiled. "I did two years ago when we were saying goodbye. And I do now." She smiled at him and leaned in for another kiss. This one was longer and deeper. She flicked her tongue against his lips and he opened his mouth to her, enjoying this turn of events immensely. He was careful not to touch her otherwise, he didn't want to push her too fast too soon.

They only broke apart when they heard something being shoved through the letterbox downstairs. Harry saw fear on Ruth's face. "Don't worry, I know what that is."

"What is it?"

"I'm hoping its photographs," Harry said. "I'll explain when I've had a look." Harry got up and went downstairs. Ruth quickly got dressed and followed him down. Harry was flicking through an A4 envelope, his back to her.

"What is it?"

"Business settled," Harry said enigmatically.

"Harry…"

"Don't argue with this one Ruth," he said. She smiled at him sweetly and kissed him again. He allowed himself to enjoy it for a few moments, even though he knew what she was trying to do. She was trying to grab the envelope from him. "You're not going to get around me this way Ruth," he whispered into her mouth.

"I might," she said. Sure enough she was right. She snatched the envelope out of his hand and tipped the contents onto the counter. Harry sighed and dropped his hands, waiting for the bomb to hit. Ruth flicked through the photographs and sighed. They were all images of the same thing, Oliver Mace with three bullets in his chest and one in his head. The pictures were not pleasant. She turned them over and then looked at Harry, her eyes burning at him.


	10. Chapter 10

"What's this?" she asked, waving her hand at the photos.

"Its exactly what it looks like," Harry said gruffly. "I don't think it needs much explanation."

"But… Harry…"

"I couldn't let him live Ruth," Harry said simply. "I'm not going to apologise for it."

"Who did it?" Ruth asked, returning to the photos and looking at them.

"One of our assets in Florence," Harry said. "I've no idea who to be honest. It doesn't matter."

"Why?"

"Because he allowed you to be tortured," Harry said. "He sold you. You could have been raped, you could have been murdered. Mace wasn't getting away with that."

Ruth looked at the pictures of the dead man and she couldn't find it in her to be sorry. This was the man who had caused so many of her problems, was involved in her having to leave the UK in the first place. Sold her information so she could be tortured, and then killed if everything had gone according to plan. She couldn't regret his death, not one little bit.

"Why didn't you kill him yourself?"

"Because you needed me," he said simply. "I wanted to kill him for what he did to you. But you didn't want me to leave you. So I didn't."

Ruth bit her lip for a moment. Then she smiled at him. "I don't want to support this kind of behaviour, but thank you."

"Not what I expected you to say," Harry replied quietly.

"I know you wanted to kill him yourself," Ruth said in little more than a whisper.

"Of course I did," Harry said. "I wanted to wring his scrawny pathetic little neck. But I wouldn't leave you."

She sighed. "Please don't kill anyone else for me," she said. "There's only so many people's death's I can have on my conscience. Mace is… an exception I can live with."

"Good," he said. "I'm… relieved that's your reaction." She smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him briefly. He smiled at her and kissed her again. He pulled her close, his arms around her, clutching her to his chest and then she cried out.

"Stop, please stop!" She pushed him away hard and he looked at her confused as she was breathing heavily.

"Oh God, your back," he said as understanding hit him. "I'm so sorry, I didn't think. I never want to hurt you."

"I know," she said, her breath coming hard. "I know you didn't mean to," she said. "It just hurt."

"Let me see," he demanded. She looked at him for a moment, unsure of what to do. "Sorry. You don't want to be touched."

"No, I'm scared of being touched," Ruth corrected. "It doesn't mean I don't want to be. Look, my back's fine. Can you burn those pictures? I don't want to come across photos of dead men while I'm living here."

"Yeah," Harry agreed. He picked up the photos and slid them in the envelope, worried about Ruth. Their closeness of only moments before seemed broken and he didn't know how to get it back. He sighed and went out to the back garden to burn the papers.

* * *

In the early evening Harry put his jacket on as Ruth came downstairs. "Where are you going?" she asked concern all over her face.

"To get fish and chips," Harry said. "Don't worry, you'll be perfectly safe. And I have this for you, just so you feel safe." Harry opened the drawer in the kitchen and handed her a gun. Ruth took it warily and then looked at him.

"Do you think I'll need this?" Ruth asked.

"No," he said. "If I was worried I wouldn't leave you. But I thought you'd feel safer."

"Thank you," she said. "But you know what a terrible shot I am."

"I do," he agreed with a slight smile. "But you don't need to be a great shot to shoot someone who's trying to hurt you." Ruth inclined her head in agreement. "I'll be quick, I promise."

"Thank you," she said, gripping the gun tightly. She watched as he left and when the door closed she locked it hurriedly. Then she sat on the sofa, gripping the gun and waiting for Harry to return. She hated how alone and vulnerable she felt now that Harry had gone out. Even when they weren't in the same room together, Ruth was aware that Harry was home, and he made her feel safe. Because she knew that Harry would rather die than let anything happen to her again. But now she was alone and she felt very much afraid. And she hated that feeling of helplessness.

Ruth jumped out of her skin when Scarlet jumped up on the sofa next to her. "God Scarlet… don't make me jump like that." She petted her gently as the dog looked at her happily. Ruth checked the safety was on the gun, and then checked it was loaded. Once she saw it was, she put it down on the coffee table and turned her attention to the dog. It might distract her long enough for Harry to get home.

* * *

Harry was half an hour at most. He tried opening the door but Ruth had put the chain on. "Ruth?"

"Hang on," she said, letting him in. He walked through to the kitchen as Ruth relocked the door, and the smell of vinegar made her mouth water. Harry unwrapped their meals as Ruth hovered by the door frame.

"Were you okay on your own?" Harry asked, keeping his voice purposefully casual and not looking at her so she wouldn't feel any pressure to lie.

"I was," she said. "I spent about five minutes feeling very helpless and frightened. But it passed." This was perfectly true and she knew that having a gun to hand had helped her peace of mind. "That's really good," she added taking a chip.

"Good," Harry said. He handed her her portion and they went through to the living room. It took a surprisingly short time for their meals to vanish and Ruth felt very full and content.

"I'm going to see the Home Secretary tomorrow," Harry said while sipping his whisky. "Will you be all right?"

"Yes," she said firmly, even though she wasn't sure how she'd manage. But she knew that she couldn't rely on Harry for her safety every minute of every day. It wasn't fair on either of them and would make their relationship unbalanced, meaning it wouldn't work in the long run.

"Hopefully I'll have your passport and your identity back this time tomorrow," Harry said. "I don't want to leave you on your own if you'll be frightened."

"I probably will be," she admitted. "But that will only get worse. I need to be able to cope on my own Harry. You know that."

"I do," he said. "But I hate the fact you're scared."

"There isn't anything we can do about that," Ruth said. "I'll be okay. I just need to get used to it again."

"Okay," Harry agreed. "As long as you're sure. I'll have the house watched and you can call me if there's a problem. You're more important than any politician."

"Thanks for that," she said, her eyes sparkling at him. "I'm knackered, I'm going to bed."

"Your bed or my bed?" Harry asked before he could stop himself.

Ruth blushed slightly, which told Harry the answer before she even said a word. "I thought… I could sleep with you tonight. Just to sleep I mean. Not anything… But if you don't want me in your bed…"

"No," he said quickly. "I was curious," he added. "Don't worry. You go on up, I'll set the alarm and lock up." Ruth nodded and went upstairs as Harry took a deep breath and tried not to think about the image of Ruth sleeping in his bed.


	11. Warning, M rated chapter

**Note the fic rating has gone up to an M, even though I don't think its my best try at M rated stuff. Not where I'd planned it but Ruth had other ideas...**

* * *

By the time Harry got up to his bedroom Ruth was already under the covers, much to his disappointment. He didn't realise how much he wanted to see her naked, or at least in a state of severe undress until the chance was taken from him. He went into the bathroom to get undressed and returned to the bedroom a few minutes later in his boxers and a T shirt, and got into bed next to her. She smiled and rolled close to him. He saw she was wearing a baggy old T shirt and by the way her body was moving, she definitely wasn't wearing a bra.

She kissed him softly and he responded to her, warily at first but then deeper as she didn't seem uncomfortable. He ran his fingers through her hair as their kiss turned into the longest and most passionate they'd ever shared. He was trying to take things slowly for her but he couldn't help himself. He sneaked his fingers under her T shirt and pressed his hands to her hips, pulling her close to his body. "Is this okay?" He breathed over her lips. She smiled easily and kissed him again, nipping his lip gently.

"If I have a problem, I'll let you know," she whispered.

"Okay," he agreed quietly as she kissed him again. Her fingers were touching his hair, longer and curlier than usual as she pulled him close. She felt so safe and happy with him touching her. Not what she'd expected to feel at all. She pulled back to breathe and Harry was smiling at her.

"Lie on your back," she whispered, her eyes shining brightly at him.

"Ruth…"

"Please." She bit her lip warily but was pleased when he did what she asked. Then without thinking she straddled him and kissed him again. Their chests would have been touching if it wasn't for their T shirts. Harry hid his surprise well, enjoying the moment.

"What's gotten into you?" he asked, immensely pleased with how this was going as he stroked her hair softly.

"Stop checking that I'm okay," she said, sitting up. She felt for the hem of his shirt and pushed her fingertips under the fabric. She wanted to see him. His shirt had only moved a couple of inches when he grabbed her wrists, stopping her. "What's wrong?"

"Ruth, I'm… not in great shape. I'm past fifty, I'm not the most physically attractive man on the planet, I'm covered in scars, I'm…"

"Sh…" she said, putting her fingers over his lips. "I find you very attractive Harry. And in a couple of months when my back's completely healed I'll have the scars to match." He kissed her fingers and she smiled, before she leant over him and kissed him again, softly and sweetly. Ruth resumed slipping his T shirt higher, her fingers dancing across his stomach slowly. He helped her remove it and threw it to the floor. Harry was worried about how she'd react to his naked chest, but she said nothing. Instead she ran her palms all over him, softly and slowly. She didn't seem repelled by him at all, and in that moment Harry knew it didn't matter what he looked like.

Ruth smiled at him as if he'd spoken the thought aloud. Then she reached for her own shirt and tugged it off. Harry's eyes were instantly drawn to her full breasts. God, he wanted to taste her so badly. Instead he was content (for the moment) with touching them softly, his thumbs running over her nipples as she sighed and her eyes closed. Harry sat up and kissed her passionately. Suddenly she whimpered in pain, and he knew he'd held her painfully.

"My back," she said. "Sorry."

"I didn't mean to…" he said feeling guilty. "Show me."

"Show you what?" she asked confused.

"Where I can touch you without it hurting," he said. Ruth smiled for a moment and then took his hand in hers and placed it on her left hip. Then she smiled and moved his hand up her body on her side, guiding him where he could touch. As his hand reached her ribcage she realised how erotic this was. He was touching her so hesitantly, relying on her to show him and her heart was skipping a beat at his touch. He was smirking at her as if he realised the effect he was having on her. When he got there, he reached for her breast and squeezed as she laughed.

Then she moved to the other side, his hand under hers as he slowly touched her. Ruth dropped her hand and let him do it on his own, her eyes closed. He smirked at her, loving that she was enjoying this. He trailed his hand up her right side and then let his index finger circle her nipple as her breathing got shallower. He raised his finger and tilted her chin towards him so he could kiss her deeply. Ruth squeezed her thighs slightly around him as she felt his erection underneath her.

"We don't have to do anything…" he said. "I just can't control the reaction of my body." She laughed happily and kissed him again as his hands ran over her chest. A minute or two later she got off of him, and Harry thought she'd reached her limit. What he hadn't expected was for her to quickly remove her knickers. He stared at her slightly open mouthed.

"Harry, why are you looking at me like that?" Ruth asked. "Your body seems to know what to do, even if you're speechless," she added, looking at his erection for a moment before she leaned over to kiss him. He squeezed her bum gently and gasped as she pulled his boxer shorts down.

"Roll on your back," Harry said firmly. "If you can." She smiled, and did what he asked carefully. Then he started kissing his way down her body sensually. God, how had she never experienced this before? He kissed and licked her in ways that made her want to never move.

"Oh no Harry. You don't have to do that," she said as he reached her waist and she guessed what he was planning. "I know men don't like doing that, its fine."

"Be quiet," he said firmly. Then he started licking her folds delicately and she cried out quietly.

"Oh Harry…" He chuckled which made her writhe under him even more. He was so good at this, and she was on the verge of orgasm within minutes. "Oh God!" she screamed as he pushed her over the edge. Harry looked at her, love in his eyes as she tried to recover. He smiled and nudged her thighs open before looking deep into her eyes. She nodded once and he pushed inside her slowly making her groan. He kissed her until he was fully sheathed inside her, her fingers clutching at his hips. She felt stretched, full and completely and utterly loved. "I love you," she whispered.

He kissed her neck before murmuring the same in her ear. He pulled out of her almost completely as she moaned, wanting it faster. "Patience," he whispered.

"I am not a patient woman," she teased. He thrust inside her and she cried out with pleasure. "Oh God Harry, yes!" He upped the pace, knowing drawing it out was for another time. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't last long. So with every thrust he brushed her clitoris with his finger and she panted under him. "Oh!" She climaxed unexpectedly, her muscles contracting around him and making him follow her almost instantly. They stilled together, their eyes saying things to each other that words never could. He kissed her gently and lovingly as he pulled out of her before collapsing on the mattress. They were both asleep within seconds.


	12. Chapter 12

Ruth awoke alone in bed the next morning, feeling loose limbed, tender and well loved. Rubbing her eyes she reached across the bed and found it both empty and cold. Harry had been up for a while then. She sat up with difficulty and a gasp of pain. Her back had been bleeding and was stuck to the bed sheet. After the activities of last night it was hardly surprising, but it was a bit painful to free herself.

She looked around the room and if it wasn't for the pleasant ache inside her she might be convinced last night was a dream. Instead she smiled to herself and got out of bed, her legs slightly shaky. She found Harry's T shirt and slipped it on. It wasn't quite long enough to cover her dignity so she put her knickers on as well, which meant she probably wouldn't get a repeat of last night when she found Harry.

"Oh shit," Ruth said to herself. They hadn't been exactly careful last night and she wasn't on birth control. "Shit." Now she'd have to get the morning after pill, and she didn't want to be one of those women who was irresponsible. She sighed to herself as there was simply nothing to be done at this point. It was a bit after the fact, but she would sort it out today. In the meantime, the more pressing thing was to find Harry.

She went through the house and found him in the kitchen making coffee. He was dressed for work, much to her disappointment. "Morning," she said. He turned and smiled, his eyes drawn to her legs.

"Morning," he agreed. He took her in for a brief kiss. "I didn't want to wake you."

"You didn't," Ruth said. "Going out?"

"Got a meeting with the Home Secretary," Harry said. "It's best to catch him in the morning before he's irritated. I'm getting your passport back."

"That'd be good," she said. "I'm going out today," she added biting her lip in anxiousness.

"Are you going to be alright leaving the house? Why do you need to go out anyway?"

"Because I only have half a dozen items of clothing with me," Ruth said truthfully. "I need some more, and to get a few things. I also need… we didn't use any contraception Harry."

"I completely forgot," Harry said, his face showing surprise. "I was… caught up last night."

"Mm," Ruth agreed. "Me too. But just in case I need to take care of it. And that brings me to a favour I need to ask you." Ruth sighed, not enjoying this. "I need to borrow some money. I'll pay you back when I can touch my savings. You know, when I'm not officially dead." She hated asking for money.

"Of course you can," Harry said instantly, reaching for his wallet and getting a card for her. "Your money's in an MI5 safe account. By tonight you'll have it, I'm sure."

"Good," Ruth said.

"Spend as much as you need. You didn't answer my question though," Harry said. "Are you going to be okay? Going outside the house?"

"No, I'll probably hate it," she said. "But it won't get easier the longer I wait to do it. And I genuinely need some more clothes. And I'm going to take the gun too."

"I can get you some things if you really don't want to leave the house," Harry said.

"No, I'll do it," she said with half a smile. "I'll see you later then?"

"I should be back by midday," Harry said.

"Good." Ruth kissed him intensely and was feeling content when she parted from him. "I'll see you later."

* * *

Ruth dressed quickly but it took her the best part of an hour to leave the house. She felt very, very afraid, even after checking the gun was in her coat pocket more than a dozen times. "Ruth, you're being silly. Nothing is going to happen to you." She told herself that more than twenty times before she left Harry's house. The first few steps in the street were terrifying. She felt as if she was being watched by everyone and nearly turned around to the safety of indoors. But she didn't want to show weakness, and she dreaded telling Harry that she couldn't brave going outdoors. So she took a few more steps and found herself walking down the street, her hand on the gun in her pocket. Just in case.

What surprised her was how easy it was to simply go shopping. She looked around her surroundings much more than she usually would and she made sure she wasn't being followed. It was when she left the chemist that she realised that she was being followed. She couldn't see anyone and nothing was out of place, but her sixth sense told her that she was being watched. For a moment she felt pure terror, and she put her hand on the gun, making sure it was there.

After a moment of consideration she knew what she was going to do. She walked through the London streets, until she found a suitable back alley, that twisted away and had no people in it. She walked down there, her heart in her throat and hid around the corner, waiting for her pursuer to follow. She wondered if she was just being paranoid, but then she heard footsteps. Light but quick, and she knew she hadn't imagined it. She retrieved her gun out of her pocket and took the safety off and prepared herself.

A man came around the corner and Ruth roughly pushed him into the wall. If she hadn't had the element of surprise she'd never have been strong enough to do it, but luck was on her side. He was pressed up against the wall, a gun at his head before he could even comprehend what was happening.

"Who the hell are you and why the fuck are you following me?" Ruth asked in a snarl.

"I'm… not following you," he said, feeling the metal of the gun on his temple.

"You are," Ruth said with certainty. Now she'd seen his face she realised she'd already seen him twice that morning. "I know you are so don't lie."

"Please don't shoot me," he said. "I mean you no harm."

"So innocent that you've been following me all morning?" Ruth asked. "Why?"

He took a shaky breath before answering. "Harry asked me to," he said. "I work for him."

"Doing what?" Ruth asked instantly, not trusting him at all. Had Harry asked for her to be followed?

"I'm a spook," he said quietly. "Harry Pearce is head of section D in MI5 and I work for him."

"Give me your identification," Ruth demanded, although that was too much information for Ruth to believe he was lying. He did and handed her a card which she read critically. Ben Kaplan she saw. And the ID was genuine. She lowered the gun and put the safety back on.

"Why did he ask for me to be followed?"

"He didn't ask, he demanded," Ben said before he could stop himself. "He was worried about you. I just did what I was told."

Ruth sighed to herself. Harry had sent someone to watch her. She didn't know if she should be offended or touched. Did he not trust her? Was she in danger that Harry hadn't told her about? Why else would he send a spy to follow her?

"Don't tell Harry that I caught you," Ruth said, making her decision. "Let him think everything went fine. I'm going home. Do NOT follow me."

"Okay," Ben said. "I'm sorry if I scared you."

"Thank you," Ruth said. "Go." He left and Ruth found herself shaking intensely. She leant against the wall and took in several deep breaths, trying to calm herself. When she managed to stop shaking she went straight home, thinking about what to say to Harry.


	13. Chapter 13

Harry unlocked the front door and found Ruth in the kitchen. He smiled and put her passport on the kitchen counter. She turned and glared at him, the anger evident on her face. Not the reaction he'd expected now her identity was back. "What's wrong? What's happened?" he asked quickly.

"You sent Ben Kaplan to spy on me."

Harry sighed and closed his eyes. "I can't believe you spotted him."

"That's not the point Harry," she said. "First I'm going to ask you something. Am in some danger that you haven't told me about?"

"No," he said firmly. "If there were I'd have told you. Or sent Adam and Ros to keep an eye on you at the very least."

"Then you have some explaining to do," Ruth said firmly. "Why on earth did you send a spy to watch over me?"

"For my own peace of mind," he said. "And your safety. Just in case."

"How dare you," she said quietly, her eyes bright. "How could you not tell me?"

"I'm not going to apologise for worrying about you," he said. "I'm allowed to worry about you. You've been through a terrible ordeal."

"I know I have," she said. "And I like that you worry about me. But sending someone to follow me and not even telling me that's what you were doing is not fair on me Harry. Did you even stop to think how I'd feel when I realised someone was on my tail? How terrified I was?"

Harry suddenly felt guilty because truthfully he hadn't considered that. He was doing it for her protection, not to give her something to fear. "I didn't think you'd spot him. He's good. He's our best new recruit."

"Yeah," she said, her eyes brimming with unshed tears. "Well, since being captured and tortured it seems I've become more aware of my surroundings than I ever was when I was a spy."

"I never meant to scare you," he said. "That was not my intention Ruth."

Deep inside she knew that, but at the moment it didn't help her. "Harry, you can't do things like that. Especially without telling me. And I need to be able to manage on my own, sending Ben or anyone else after me doesn't help me."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," he said. "I only want you to be safe. I thought he would protect you if anyone showed any signs of wanting to hurt you."

"Harry, I know you did it because you love me," she said. "And I also know that it isn't because you wanted to check up on me. It doesn't excuse it totally."

"I wanted you safe," he said. "Ben could have called for back up at any time and there would have been support there. I'm not having you tortured or hurt again."

"Promise me you will not send anyone else to follow me," she said. "Not unless there is a real danger to me."

"All right," he agreed reluctantly. "I'm sorry. For not telling you."

"Good," she said. He walked closer to her and saw that she was nearly crying.

"I'm sorry," he repeated. "Come here." She did and he held her closely, his hands low on her body so as not to hurt her.

"I was scared Harry," she said into his shoulder. "I thought…"

"I know what you thought," Harry said. "I should have known he wouldn't get one over on you." She pulled away and then kissed him lightly, a kiss of reassurance and nothing more.

"I have your details in a box in my office upstairs," Harry said trying to keep things calm. "Your bank details, sale of your house and the profits which are in a secret bank account in my name. I didn't know what else to do with the money. I hope you don't mind."

"No of course not," she said. "I'm surprised I'm going to get the money from the sale actually. I thought I'd said goodbye to all of that."

"I couldn't save your things," he said. "Sorry. I was being watched and it would have looked suspicious if I took too many things. But I did take your copy of Ovid. Its upstairs."

"Thank you," Ruth said. "That means a lot." She kissed his cheek once before making some tea. Harry smiled at her, glad that she didn't seem to want to stay too angry with him.

* * *

The next day Harry got up late and Ruth was already up. He was slightly disappointed not to wake up next to her. But then, he'd got up early the day before, so he supposed it was fair. Going downstairs, he found her sitting at the kitchen table perusing the newspaper, segments spread all over the table.

"Morning," he said, kissing her.

"Morning," she replied.

"What are you doing?" he asked, pouring himself a coffee.

"Looking for a flat."

"What?" he asked quietly. "You can't."

"I think you'll find I can," Ruth said simply. "I have my money and my life back. I need a place to live."

"You have a place to live," Harry said. "Here."

"Harry…"

"I mean it Ruth," he said.

"Look, I have to be able to manage on my own," she said. "I can't have you protecting me all the time."

"Is this about Ben?" Harry asked, thinking they'd discussed that.

"No," she said, smiling at him. She got up and wrapped her arms around him gently. "You're a wonderful man. But you do have a way of always trying to protect me, and I've been with you only a matter of days."

"Ruth…"

"I have to live in the real world. Without my knight in shining armour always around to protect me."

"I don't like having you here to protect you, I just like having you here. With me." Ruth kissed him slowly. "Please don't leave," he said into her mouth.

"Harry…"

"Please," he interrupted. "I have effective methods of persuasion." He kissed her deeply, making her weak at the knees.

"I think I'm already familiar with your methods of persuasion."

"Then stop talking and let me persuade you." Ruth laughed into his mouth as their heavenly kiss continued delightfully, for the moment forgetting the bigger issue and simply enjoying it.

* * *

**I'm**** not sure what to do, have her get her own flat or stay with Harry. Let me know what you think!**


	14. Chapter 14

**The beginning of this chapter might be pushing an M rating.**

* * *

Things escalated very quickly. Ruth found herself sitting on the kitchen table, her jeans undone as Harry stroked between her legs expertly, their lips pressed together. "Harry, this better not be because you're trying to persuade me to stay here," she breathed, trying and failing to keep her composure.

"No, this is because I want to see you writhe in ecstasy under my touch," he said, his voice low and growling. He kissed her neck and Ruth suddenly found breathing an incredibly difficult task.

"Good, that's the right answer," she replied, a smile in her voice. Harry chuckled gently and pushed his fingers harder against her most sensitive flesh. She cried out as she climaxed, her head thrown back as her muscles clenched around Harry's fingers. That had felt intensely good, her brain managed to think. Why hadn't she stayed in bed for an hour or two more to enjoy Harry in the most primal way?

She came to herself again and opened her eyes, to see Harry licking his fingers. She felt a deep shudder run through her as he kept eye contact with her. She wasn't used to being this wanted.

"So, what were you saying?" Harry asked, his eyes glinting at her.

"I need my own place," Ruth said, trying to get her body and mind back under her own control. "It doesn't mean anything about how I feel about you Harry."

He bit his lip, because that is what he worried about. That she didn't want him. But then he knew that was being irrational, and there was more between them than simple convenience of her being in his house. "Ruth, I like having you here."

"And I like being here," she said. "I can't rely on you to keep looking after me. I need to be self sufficient Harry. I love you, and I want to be in a relationship with you. This doesn't change that."

"Alright," he agreed reluctantly. "I guess it is a bit soon for us to be living together. But I don't want to let you go."

"I know," she replied. She opened her arms to him and held him close, his breath whispering across her face. She smiled at him as her fingers laced behind his neck. "Look, I'll rent, rather than buy," she said, offering a slight compromise. "So if things go well between us… in the future, when we've been together for longer than a week, I'll move in with you with no problems at all."

"God I love you," he said. "And I know you're speaking sense. I'm just… really going to miss you being here."

"I haven't found a flat yet," Ruth said, wrapping her limbs around him, perched on the table again. "And I have a feeling that when we spend the night together it'll be rather memorable…"

"Mm," he agreed before kissing her passionately. "I think I can guarantee it." She chuckled before kissing him again.

* * *

Ruth spent the rest of the day (after spending an extra hour in bed with Harry) calling up estate agents to try and find a flat to rent. There were several leads and she arranged to meet up tomorrow to be shown around. Harry had gone to work, and she'd been so busy on the phone that she'd barely noticed his absence. Which was a massive improvement. When she'd finished for the day she saw it was already five o'clock. Perfectly acceptable to have a glass of wine then. She opened a bottle of red to let it breath and put the TV on. Some mindless game show. When it had finished, she heard Harry come in.

"Good day?" she asked as he collapsed on the sofa next to her.

"Exhausting," Harry said. "Section D has a mole."

"You're kidding!" Ruth said loudly. "Who?"

"I don't know," Harry said. "But I don't like suspecting my team either. And the fact I know its one of them means I have to treat them all with suspicion. I hate it Ruth."

"I'm sorry," she said quietly, her hand on his arm, rubbing soothing circles.

"Oh I wish you were still there. Then there would be someone I trust." Ruth froze. "I didn't mean… I'm sorry. I spoke without thinking."

"I'm not sure if I want to come back to Thames House Harry," she said slowly. "Now that I've seen the other side of spying, I don't know if I could manage it. And I certainly couldn't do it to the standard I did… before."

"Its fine," he said. "Forget I mentioned anything Ruth, please."

"Okay," Ruth said, her eyes wide with her remembered fear.

"Oh Ruth, come here," Harry said. He wrapped his arms around her very gently and knew that she wasn't nearly past her fear. Not yet. He'd forgotten that for a few days. "I'm sorry."

"Mm," Ruth said. In the silence eventually she relaxed against him and he was relieved that he hadn't scared her. Or at least for not too long.

"How did the flat hunt go?" Harry asked, wanting to change the subject.

"Well," Ruth said. "I have about half a dozen places to have a look at tomorrow. I'm hopeful I'll find somewhere."

"I'm not going to say I'm happy about that, but I'm pleased that you are," he said.

Ruth laughed and kissed his cheek. "I love you," she said quietly.

"Love you too."

* * *

**The romantic in me wants them to stay in Harry's house in a romantic bubble, but I think she needs to be on her own.**


	15. Chapter 15

**This is the last chapter. Thank you for all the support.**

* * *

The days slipped by. Ruth had found a nice little flat which was already sparsely furnished, meaning she didn't have to buy anything big which was what she wanted. The price was reasonable and it wasn't too far from Harry's house either which was a large bonus. It meant she had to leave Harry's house and he wasn't exactly enthusiastic. The last night they spent together in his home was incredible. He made love to her for most of the night, soft and sweet and fantastically touching.

When she woke the next morning Harry was stroking her hair softly. "Mm?"

"Morning," he said.

"Hi," she replied, sitting up, noticing that he was already dressed. "What time is it?"

"Twenty past seven," Harry said. "I need to get to work, unfortunately."

"Oh," she moaned, a pout on her face. He put his tie on and then looked at her.

"Don't look at me like that, this is your choice," Harry said.

"I know," she said. "And I also know it's the right one too."

"You said you didn't need any help?" Harry asked, putting his jacket on.

"No," she said. "I only have two bags of things anyway. It won't take me long."

"Promise me something," Harry said sitting on the bed. "Keep a key. Just for emergencies, or in case something happens. I don't expect you to use it."

"Okay," she said. "I will."

"Thank you." He kissed her incredibly softly and passionately. "I'll call you later tonight when I'm off work."

"Good," Ruth said. "Be careful."

"And you," Harry said. "Bye." Ruth collapsed onto the bed and closed her eyes, waiting to hear the front door close. It did a few seconds later and she sighed. Now that it came to it she wasn't looking forward to leaving the safety of Harry's house behind. But she knew she had to. She drifted in and out of sleep for another hour or two. Then she got up and collected her things to go to her new place.

* * *

It took her a little over an hour to get to her flat and unpack her meagre belongings. She then went shopping for things she was missing and some food. She made herself lunch and then sat on her sofa, wondering what to do now. She was alone with nothing to do. No job, nothing to kill the time and only Harry in her life. She bit her lip, debating whether going back to Thames House would be the right thing to do. At some point she would need a job. But did she want to go back to the place that had made her homeless for two years, and had indirectly been responsible for her being captured and tortured. Did she want that? But she knew that on the grid she genuinely did make a difference. She sighed and decided to give it prolonged thought. Hopefully by Friday night she'd have made her mind up one way or the other. Then she could talk to Harry over dinner, which they'd already arranged. A lovely little Italian restaurant he said she'd like. She was already looking forward to it.

* * *

That night Ruth slept poorly. She hadn't had nightmares when she'd slept with Harry but that night she did. Her dream self was still being tortured and she was crying when she woke with a jerk. Without even thinking about it she reached for the phone and called Harry.

"Ruth? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah." She looked at the clock and saw it was three in the morning. "Oh God, I didn't see the time. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have called."

"No no it's fine," Harry said, his voice cracked with sleep. "How are you?"

"I had a nightmare," she admitted. "I needed to hear a friendly voice."

"Can you tell me about it?" Harry asked.

"No," Ruth said, her throat choked with unshed tears. "Can you just talk to me? Or hang up and call me an emotional wreck. Either way."

"You're not an emotional wreck," Harry said, his voice soft. "You've been through a lot. What do you want to hear about?"

"Tell me about work," Ruth said. "You know, the declassified boring stuff that doesn't need any clearance."

"Okay," Harry said. He began speaking about the Russians, more information than she should probably know, but hearing his voice was very soothing to her. After about twenty minutes she felt herself drifting off to sleep.

"Thank you," she said, her voice slurring slightly with tiredness. "I feel better."

"Goodnight Ruth."

"Goodnight."

* * *

Ruth hurried into the restaurant, only a couple of minutes late. She saw Harry sitting in a corner and smiled. "I know, I'm late. Public transport."

"Its fine," he said, a smile of relief on his face at her presence. A part of him had worried that she wouldn't show, which was irrational but she could read it on his face. She leaned over and kissed him softly. "How are you?" Harry asked.

"Good," she said. "No more sleepless nights which is something."

"It is," Harry agreed. "Wine?" Ruth nodded and Harry poured her a glass. Ruth perused the menu and knew she was going to have the scallop pasta. It looked amazing.

"How was work?"

"Fine."

"Be vaguer," Ruth said sarcastically.

"You know I can't tell you anything definite," Harry said, an apologetic smile on his face. "I probably told you more than I should earlier in the week."

"Connie's the mole then?" Ruth asked, her lips twitching. Harry was left open mouthed as the waiter came over. They ordered and he'd managed to get his thoughts in order.

"When did you find that out?" he asked quietly.

"A couple of hours ago. I'd been thinking about what you told me on the phone. And I dug a little. She had Russian connections didn't she?"

"You dug around on a civilian computer?" Harry asked bewildered. "What if someone tracks it?"

"I didn't go into too much detail," Ruth said. "And I managed to keep my connection encrypted. Not to the grids level obviously, but good enough. Anyway, I worked it out."

"I'm impressed," Harry said. "More so than usual I mean." Ruth smiled at him as she took a sip of wine.

"I'd like to come back to the grid," Ruth said, biting her lip as she was unsure how Harry would react to this. "I've been thinking about it over the past few days, and I want to come back. As long as its okay with the boss."

Harry smiled at her so warmly she felt her own cheeks flush. "I don't want you to feel pressured to come back."

"I don't," she said. "I've been giving it a lot of thought. And, you know… I rather like staring at you across the grid." Harry chuckled. He reached across the table and held her hand gently.

"If you really want to, I'll push the paperwork through. But you have to want to."

"I remember the job Harry, I did it for nearly four years," she said, an indulgent smile on her face. "I felt useful and made a difference. I'm not going to say that my experience in Turkey will never effect me… especially when I have to look through pictures and the like. But I want to give it a try."

"You would be more than welcome," he said. "But I might have to discipline you for using an insecure connection from your home computer."

"I don't work for you yet," Ruth said, her eyebrows raised. Harry laughed.

"Well, you couldn't have picked better timing, considering our head analyst is currently in police custody with an armed guard."

"That's coincidental timing," Ruth said, her eyebrows raised. "I didn't plan it that way."

"I don't think anyone apart from Connie planned to be a traitor," Harry said with a sigh. "I'd love to have you back."

Ruth leaned across the table and kissed him lingeringly. They were only interrupted by the waiter bringing their meals. Ruth blushed as they parted, but her meal smelt delicious. She took her first bite and felt like she was slipping into heaven. "Harry this is delicious."

"Good, I'm glad you like it," he said.

"Harry thank you," she said sincerely.

"For what?"

"For rescuing me. For looking after me. For everything you do for me." Harry smiled at her, his eyes warm.

"You're more than welcome." He reached across and squeezed her hand, and as their eyes connected Ruth knew that whatever happened between them or to them, in the end, they would be okay.

* * *

**Finished! If its not too much to ask, one last review would be wonderful. Thank you. :)**


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